by J. Loh
a dead cat bounced once or twice
a dead man walked as a soldier from Qin dynasty
who dreamed about climbing the Great Wall
across the vast northern wasteland
and only found himself turned
into a ghost in the bushes
like a shapeless shadow of wind
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such vivid affairs one could not tell
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in the midnight silence
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and I knew nothing about the basement
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where rats and cockroaches fought among themselves
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I was alive, but couldn't walk nor bounce around
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as a black swan or a white cat
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while you said, come join the soldiers of the cockroaches.
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Why not rats, I asked.
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one inch seemed one million miles away
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with two worlds apart
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there was something inside me I couldn't reach
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"tear me into pieces", you said,
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"nothing is authentic or genuine as you will see
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in pieces of me"
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I was alive, but couldn't walk as a living being
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the world surrounding me
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was a tiny drop of the rain, dripping down
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from a pigeon's wing-tip
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time turned into a grain of sand --
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-- the sole truth of the universe
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with sore and pain in my back
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I couldn't go too far from my flesh nor bring the true pieces of me
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to the silent tides
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I couldn't touch the shades of solidity
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while my door was cracking --
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the boundary of myself was disappearing
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something completely foreign was reshaping
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I felt the dim light of the rainy day came inside me
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and shed on the cracked floor
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when curtains were still tightly shut
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Gapping, sobbing, and yelling in pain
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I felt the dead man moving out of my body
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and the grain of sand was free-flying
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in the pouring rain
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love or being loved was a state of quantum
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-- rats or cockroaches didn't matter --
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when a terra cotta soldier was walking
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in the mighty wind.
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Sept. 6, 2015 written in BJ
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今天AAH
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附中文翻译:今天4c(teRc3kU
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《兵马俑》今天/c'v O/S2l UU今天:dY0y
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作者、翻译:莫笑愚G c7o O,QJ8A!rc6Y0
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一只死猫回光返照了一次或两次dq+m
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一个死去的人行走,仿佛来自秦朝的兵士今天
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他梦见自己跨越北方广袤的荒原^?2\ _-Mpv0
攀上了长城今天-O3O6YW8`
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结果却发现自己变成鬼魂*V!A Gi&{.}0
仿佛草丛中无形的风影GH:{y)p#\0B L7ie!V)X%Q Y0
人们在午夜的寂静中今天,r*hvL1m g XNf
分不清这些生动的事物p w2d2](Nv4n&`j0
而我对地下室里发生的一切也一无所知HKc]:mu&k(t6C0
老鼠和蟑螂在那里战斗今天&U,Nf*E'C&Xh4p
我活着,却不能像黑天鹅或白猫那样今天/?G#qI'|
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行走或弹跳今天%Ooiqz+nz
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而你说,来吧,加入蟑螂的战斗群。\mwZG1~_&v9c0今天w2Qo3]&K
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为什么不是老鼠,我说。今天"R,jQx,X2pA
一英寸似乎相隔百万英里今天`%eENT%j.N.j
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两个世界天差地别&E(L[(z
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一些东西在我心中,我无法触及今天]$HKwk
“将我撕成碎片吧”,你对我说,X6vJQ!XZDn0
“在碎裂的我中,没有什么是纯正的
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或真实的”7Vux0D_0g,ZJL0H]7d0
我活着,无法如众生行走今天+Y$?9I6I)Q
我周围的世界0]M$G?7m,b0
是一小滴雨水,从鸽子的翅尖今天i?nP,aE
滴落^Wo S/[!\y-f0
时间成为一粒沙 ——今天&W-^a-Hn2RO&l^c
—— 这宇宙的唯一真理今天0A.iB+{`今天:ZS},@RGLJ
我腰酸背痛今天sviM'g,y+N9S
无法离开自身的肉体走得太远,也不能将真实的我的碎片今天
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带进静默的潮汐 ——今天HE-mT$K^A
我无法触碰这坚固的阴影今天W
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而我的门在开裂
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我自身的边界在消失8y5i;J3z/d3d,e:B0
一些完全陌生的事物在重塑-e7B|5_I O&J;q+~L]%urx0
我感到昏暗的灯光在雨天进入我的内心今天sI}.R|$[BYO
洒在破裂的地板上6] f}%OQdd0
当窗帘依然紧闭K_O-ib)l9bke0今天i
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撕裂着,哭泣着,带着疼痛呼号着kKmN"EPH0
我感到这死去的人正在移出我的体内今天^6| ?Nx
而细小的沙粒在瓢泼大雨中f
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自由飞行——$rv$DFM e
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爱或被爱都是量子状态]3G1ep/D;S(w
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—— 老鼠或蟑螂都不重要 ——F*Q @u8`[eL}H5\0
当兵马俑的士兵6S%Yr#g8Z)K2h;x+EU&GH:C~0
行走,在迅疾的风中。WMw
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clOQ8`q0今天&~j%J-vM3t
2015-9-6于北京